The Golden Bachelorette Wasn’t About Romantic Love—and Maybe That’s a Good Thing.

When I first prepared myself to watch the inaugural season of The Golden Bachelorette, I braced for impact. I was doubtful that ABC would cast a couple dozen 60-year-olds who were well-mannered and not offensive, let alone kind and in touch with their own feelings. Reality TV is all about drama, after all. Also, do older dudes really want to go on TV and talk about their feelings?

Boy, was I wrong! On Wednesday night, the season finale is expected to wrap up with Joan Vassos choosing the man she wants to marry out of the final two contenders, Kansas insurance executive Chock Chapple or Nevada ER doctor Guy Gansert. If it will be true and lasting love remains to be seen; this show does not have a great track record, and no matter who Joan picks, geography will not be on their side (Joan lives in Maryland). But no matter—romantic love is not what was great about this season. It was the dudes. The men who vied for Joan’s heart are so kind, so empathetic, so emotionally in tune, so vulnerable, so genuinely caring of one another that they were the real stars of the season. And they seemed to have found, in each other, genuine buddies.

They were goofy: Charles L. (there were two Charleses) and Jack paraded around the Bachelor mansion admiring the craftsmanship, testing the gas burners, ogling the refrigerator full of meat. The men practiced fake meditation sessions chanting “Joan” instead of “ohm”—Pascal their untrained guru—and sparred over the merits of lathering barbecue sauce on raw burger patties.

Despite technically being there to compete for the same woman, there was almost no infighting, there was minimal conflict—and everyone could take a joke. Sure, Pascal hit Gregg with a pillow because he snored. Sure, Guy ribbed Chock for being all over Joan at the bowling alley date. Sure, the guys largely rejected Kim’s earnest request to sing his original song (“We are the mansion men …”) to his horror. But for the most part, these human beings got along, and even bonded.

At no point was this more on display than when Charles L. asked Guy for his medical expertise to help him decipher why his wife, who died of a brain aneurysm, had been bleeding out of her mouth when he found her. Guy explained that his wife likely bit her tongue when she collapsed, providing a moment of clarity for Charles L., who had spent years wondering.

After Joan broke up with him, Mark addressed the remaining men and told them that he knew Joan would be in excellent hands with any of them. They all embraced and told Mark they loved him. Afterward, in an emotional moment, Pascal broke down in his interview with producers, saying that Mark was his “best friend” and he was shocked that he’d been sent home. “And I hope he’s OK,” he added.

“The Men Tell All” episode, in which contestants who did not make it to the final showdown dish on the season, was a straight-up bromance-fest. Jonathan revealed that one day when he woke up, Mark had put a Post-it note in his coffee cup reminding him that he’s a “fantastic human being,” with some inspirational mantras on the back—a note just in case Mark was sent home before he could tell him.

Though they were on a show about romance, the men made it clear that they found love with one another in the form of platonic friendship. The Golden Bachelorette proved that bromance can be more powerful than romance, that age doesn’t obviate the need for companionship of all kinds—and that older guys can be sweet and loving, even with one another.

These aren’t perfect men. They have scars and deep insecurities. They make mistakes, such as Charles L.’s horribly dyed-black hair at the Men Tell All reunion. But Charles L., as it happens, summed up the lesson of the season pretty eloquently in that episode.

“It’s a successful journey for me,” Charles confessed. “We bonded together, we opened our hearts. It’s a different form of love—yeah, I did find it.”