The Fall of the House of Chestnut
America’s greatest sport lost its greatest athlete over “hot dog exclusivity provisions.”
Michael Phelps glides through water. Simone Biles flips through air. Usain Bolt dashes faster than any human—and most animals.
But Joey Chestnut does something arguably more impressive, more impossible, more athletic. Every July Fourth, on the day that America declared independence from the British crown, Joey Chestnut eats hot dogs. Like, a lot of them.
At his peak in 2021, Chestnut shoved 76 dogs and buns down his throat, meat-soaked water splattering out of his mouth, in just 10 minutes. It’s perhaps the greatest individual performance by an American athlete—ever. It’s Muhammad Ali besting George Foreman in the jungle, Wilt Chamberlain scoring 100, Jesse Owens in Berlin.
By our back-of-the-mustard-soaked-napkin math, Chestnut consumed about 20,000 calories in the time it takes most mortals to find what they’re going to watch on Netflix.
But on June 11, tragedy struck the world of sports. Major League Eating, or MLE, one of our most revered sporting institutions, announced that Chestnut will not be allowed to participate in its flagship event, the Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest. He won’t be able to go for a ninth consecutive Mustard Belt and warm the hearts of millions watching.
Why? Chestnut struck a sponsorship deal with Impossible Foods, the plant-based faux-meat company, which Nathan’s considers a rival. “I was gutted to learn from the media that after 19 years Im banned from the Nathan’s July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest,” Chestnut wrote on X. “I love competing in that event, I love celebrating America with my fans all over this great country on the 4th and I have been training to defend my title.”
Meanwhile, MLE said it’s “devastated” to learn Chestnut would represent a “rival brand” rather than compete in the competition. “MLE and Nathan’s went to great lengths to accommodate Joey and his management team, agreeing to the appearance fee and allowing Joey to compete in a rival, unbranded hot dog eating contest on Labor Day.” Chestnut claims that MLE changed the rules, while the league says it’s had the same “hot dog exclusivity provisions” for decades.
An Impossible Foods spokesperson said “We love Joey and support him in any contest he chooses. It’s OK to experiment with a new dog. Meat eaters shouldn’t have to be exclusive to just one wiener.”
Still, the league wants Chesnut to appear at the event, it said, even if he’s not eligible to compete.
But there’s no hot dog eating contest without Joey Chestnut competing. Not since the awesome reign of eating legend Takeru Kobayashi—the Chestnut before Chestnut—has anyone else dominated the sport. And Kobayashi had his own contract issue more than a decade ago: Kobayashi reportedly bowed out of the 2010 contest due to contract disputes over exclusivity with MLE and never competed in the competition again.
But why toss out your biggest star over a simple contract dispute? Surely, the face of your league is more important than whether he eats a plant-based hot dog–shaped thing. For the sake of American athletics, for American pride, for American independence, Joey Chestnut must compete on July 4. Anything less would mark the end of one of the greatest athletic careers the country has ever seen. An American pastime is on the line.
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